


To Face the Darkness or the Light

by goingtothetardis



Series: The Way Home [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (JE will be rewritten in the next story), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension-Hopping Rose, Eight POV, Eighth Doctor right before the Time War, Episode AU: s04e12 The Stolen Earth, F/M, Pre-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Pre-Ten/Rose reunion, Rose pov, Rose unexpectedly runs into Eight, Talking, Ten/Rose implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 20:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12350403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: While dimension hopping and trying to find her way back to the Doctor, Rose runs into a very unexpected stranger. Will he help her find her way home?





	1. Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey! I'm finally posting my contribution to Eight/Rose August with DoctorRosePrompts. I've been working on this fic for aaaaaages, and it's such a relief to finally feel good enough about it to post. I'll be posting both chapters today. This fic was a bit of a challenge for a few different reasons. First of all, I wrote one chapter from Rose's POV and a second chapter of the same thing from the Doctor's POV. I tried really hard to balance it and really capture their individual interpretations of the scene, so while there will be _some_ copying of dialogue, I tried to really focus on the internal monologues of both characters. Hopefully you like it.
> 
> While writing this story, which was supposed to be a one-part thing, it somehow evolved into a small verse with an eventual Journey's End fixit. I've been sort of.... enraged by the whole series of events in that episode lately, and I decided to try my hand at a rewrite/canon divergent story. That particular story is a solid WIP, and I've written about 3 pages of notes for it so far. Hopefully I'll make some progress on it this weekend. But it'll follow directly after this story. 
> 
> Endless thanks to my beta, SelenaTerna, for letting me moan and groan about this fic for months. Her enthusiasm and encouragement are the only reason it got finished. And also, thanks to Megabadbunny for your encouragement as well!! It makes such a difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose's POV.

Rose sprints through the middle of the marketplace, holding tight to her enormous gun and cringing as she knocks over a table, sending baubles flying in every direction. At the outraged vendor’s cry, she shouts a hurried, “Sorry!” before hanging a hard left in an attempt to ditch her pursuers. 

After the jump through the Void, she’d landed next to two shady looking aliens having a dispute about something. They’d not taken lightly to her sudden appearance and lethal weapon strapped to her back, however, and had quickly joined forces to chase her through the marketplace. 

Well used to running from a wide variety of beings, Rose easily maintains a solid lead, but the market proves more a more challenging place than she’d expected to shake the aliens, especially with her cumbersome gun. She cuts right two more times, then ducks between a narrow gap between two rickety shacks, before coming out at the edge of a quiet street. Mourning the loss of the protection the busy marketplace offered, Rose turns left and runs down the street, looking for dark corner to hide. 

As she passes by a nondescript alley, a flash of blue catches her eye, and she staggers to a halt, almost tripping over her feet. Chancing a quick glance over her shoulder, she curses when she spots the two aliens stumble out of the market and onto the street. 

With nowhere else to run, Rose spins around and dashes into the alley, hoping with all her heart her eyes have not deceived her. 

The flash of blue _hadn’t_ been a trick of the eye, a mirage playing games with her heart, as the TARDIS – _the TARDIS!!_ – sits parked quietly against the wall at the far end of the alley. 

Slowing to a walk, Rose covers her chest with her hand in an attempt to keep her heart from hammering out of her chest. After all this time, the sight of her beloved TARDIS sitting in front of her is hard to believe. Glancing around surreptitiously, Rose observes nothing out of the ordinary. The TARDIS is simply… there. 

“There she is!” one of the aliens shouts from the street, and with an alien curse she learned from her first Doctor, Rose tugs at the long chain holding her TARDIS key nestled between her breasts and sprints the last few steps to the ship. With her heart beat pounding in her ears, she takes the key firmly between her fingers and holds her breath as she sticks it into the keyhole and twists. 

With a definitive click of the lock, the door opens, and Rose darts inside, slamming it shut behind her just as her pursuers reach the ship. She leans against the door, wheezing with hysterical laughter as she attempts to catch her breath, winded from her unexpected marketplace sprint and the absolute disbelief at _actually_ finding the TARDIS. 

A few seconds later, however, her laughter fizzles to an abrupt halt as she takes in her surroundings. It’s most definitely the TARDIS, as she feels the ship’s warm and delighted welcome in her mind. But it’s _not_ the TARDIS interior she’s familiar with, and the giddy sense of relief is quickly replaced by a heavy, nauseating twist in her stomach. 

Rose pushes off from the door and studies the TARDIS before moving forward. It’s dark, much darker than the organic orange-y interior she’d grown accustomed to during her time with the Doctor. The central console pulses gently in blue-ish purple hues, and it’s surrounded by vast steel-like arches that resemble long, spindly legs. Shifting her gaze to the rest of the console room, Rose is surprised to find walls lined with books and stone. Dark wooden furniture is scattered about, giving the place a posh sort of gothic ambiance, and the place is filled with assorted brick-a-brack, clocks, and candles. It’s far more put together and lived-in than her TARDIS, as the console room resembles more of a library than anything else, but she still prefers the coral struts and ratty jumpseat of the TARDIS she’s used to. 

It’s rather like the Doctor, she realizes, and instinctively suspects that the Doctor she’ll find here will wear a different face than the one she last saw. The same, but yet… different. She swallows heavily, mourning the loss of yet another precious face. The center console pulses once, lighting up in a bright purple, and there’s a sense of comfort from the TARDIS in her mind. The ship’s affectionate presence calms her nerves, spurring her onward.

From her place by the door, there’s no sign of the Doctor, so with a shaky exhalation of breath, she walks down the steps, smirking at the ornate statues on either side of the door. Rose walks over to the center platform and steps up to run her fingers along the edge of the console. The center column pulses warmly at her touch. 

“Hey, girl,” Rose murmurs, “I missed you too. So where’s the Doctor, hmmm?” As she reaches the opposite side of the console, she stops suddenly when she spots a solitary chair sitting next to an end table stacked high with books and a lamp. A cup of tea sits precariously on one of the books, and steam drifts lazily into the air. 

“You know,” an unfamiliar but velvety smooth voice speaks from the chair, “it’s not polite to break into one’s home.” 

“‘M sorry, but Doctor, it’s me. It’s Rose.” She shuffles to the edge of the console platform but stops just short of stepping off, chewing her thumbnail nervously as she waits for the Doctor to answer. 

Finally, the Doctor pushes himself up from the chair and turns to face her. She gasps, soaking in the sight of him after all this time and allows her eyes to adjust to yet another face on her Doctor. 

He’s a bit shorter, this him, with shoulder length, curly brown hair. Blue eyes stare inquisitively at her, but they’re a different shade than her first Doctor’s eyes. His look is decidedly more… _Edwardian_ this time around, and a smile plays on her lips as she studies the green, velvet frock coat, the silky cravat tucked into a waistcoat, and the high-waisted trousers and boots. It’s simultaneously outrageous and appropriate, and seems to suit him perfectly. 

“Rose?” His voice pulls her from her studious investigation of his appearance. “I don’t think I know a Rose.”

Rose stops breathing at his comment and watches cautiously as he studies her face in concern. The thought strikes her that it could be this Doctor simply hasn’t met her yet, and she thinks furiously about what to do in order to save their timelines and prevent the reapers. 

His blue eyes bore into hers, and he steps closer. He’s beautiful, this Doctor, and Rose blushes slightly at the thought. Her flush intensifies when the Doctor’s eyebrows raise at her reaction. 

“Or _will_ I know a Rose?” he asks softly, finally coming to a stop in front of her. “I’m assuming you’re from my future, somehow, since you have a key to my ship,” he nods at the key she’d forgotten to tuck back into her shirt, “and seem rather familiar with her, but it could very well be that I’ve forgotten you. Memory’s a bit bad this time around.” His gaze shifts past Rose to the center console, which pulses up and down in agreement at his first prediction. 

“I…” Rose trails off, cursing herself for what she knows she has to do. “I think I should leave. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want… Well, the last time I mucked with time, reapers almost destroyed the world.”

At this, the Doctor laughs, and grabs Rose’s hand. He tugs her gently into the sitting area where a new chair sits across from his. She follows willingly, loathe to leave and figures that if he’s not worried, maybe she doesn’t need to be either. Before sitting, she removes the gun from her back and places it carefully on the floor. The Doctor’s stares at the gun with a frown, but when Rose nudges it to the side of the chair with her foot, he shakes his head slightly and returns his gaze to her. 

“So, Rose from my future. How–” Stopping suddenly, the Doctor peers over at a bewildered Rose with a sheepish expression. “Before I ask my questions, would you like a spot of tea? You seem a bit unsure, and I find a good cup does wonders to relax the nerves.” 

Rose smiles her infamous tongue-touched smile at the Doctor and smirks inwardly when his jaw falls momentarily slack. “Oh, that’d be gorgeous,” she replies. “Mum always says not to start a serious conversation without a good cuppa within arm’s reach.” Watching as he prepares the tea, she hums happily when he hands her a steaming mug. “Ta, Doctor.” She breathes in the steam and sighs. “Smells lovely.”

“It’s one of my favorite blends from a tiny planet in the Orgavrian System. Oh, what’s it called…?” He closes his eyes for a moment while Rose takes sip of tea. “Ah, that’s right– Myannia IV. Delightful place. Maybe I’ll take you there someday.”

His comment pulls Rose rather abruptly back to the present, and she shrugs, the lighthearted moment lost in the reality of her situation. “You haven’t taken me there yet, an’ unless I find you again, probably won’t ever get there.”

“You lost me?” 

Rose doesn’t miss the burning curiosity in his eyes, but she hesitates to tell him the whole story. “Before I tell you anything, I need to know if me being here will mess up the timelines,” she says, chewing her bottom lip in worry. “‘S jus’, I know what happens when events are changed, and I _need_ to meet you, Doctor.” 

Her voice cracks as she imagines her life without him, without her partner, lover, and best friend. While all these years without him have already been torturous, it pains her even more to think about having never met the Doctor. “You _have_ to be in my life, and I like to think you need me as well. If meeting you too early is going to change everything, then I think I need to leave now.” She places her mug on the table beside her and moves to stand. 

“There, now,” the Doctor says as he hops up and pushes her gently back down in her chair before crouching down in front of her. “I can modify my memory so I won’t remember this.” He pauses. “Or, depending upon what you tell me, I can put in a trigger to unlock the memories later, at the right time, if that’ll be better.”

Rose sinks into her chair in relief. “Promise?” 

The corners of the Doctor’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “Promise.”

Rose sits up and and holds out her hand, almost breaking down in tears when the Doctor’s familiar hand wraps around hers. “Well, in that case, I’m Rose Tyler. You meet me… Well, I’m not really sure when you meet me in your timeline, but you said somethin’ about being 900 years old. Long story short, you saved me, and then I saved your life.” She smirks at the Doctor before reaching for her tea.

He laughs. “That does sound like how things tend to go in my life.”

She takes a sip of tea before continuing. “We travelled together for a while, and then an old enemy returned, and you sent me away. I…” She pauses here, unsure if she should tell him exactly _how_ she returned. The TARDIS chimes a warning hum in her mind, and she nods in understanding. Across from her, the Doctor’s brows furrow, and his gaze flicks quickly to the ceiling. “I… found a way back to the Doctor, but he… you regenerated immediately after I returned. I stayed with you, yeah? But you were so _different_. After a while, though, it didn’t matter anymore, because no matter what face you wear, you’re still the Doctor. Still _my_ Doctor.”

The Doctor’s eyes widen in shock at the mention of her staying through a regeneration, then widen further at her use of the possessive pronoun. She continues before he interrupts. “We had so many wonderful adventures, but in the end, there was a horrible battle and…” She pauses again, closing her eyes to ward off the memories of white walls, agonizing screams, and bloody fucking Daleks and Cybermen. “In the end, I ended up in a parallel universe with my Mum. You – he – was able to get a message to me from his TARDIS in this universe but said it was impossible to get back.”

“It’s not impossible,” the Doctor says, but stops short when Rose holds her hand up.

“It is. I can’t tell you how, but it is. You have to trust me.” She leaves no room for argument, and her heart aches to see the confusion written on the Doctor’s face, knowing it was the Time War and the destruction of the Time Lords that made travel between parallel universes impossible. “Well, it was impossible,” Rose continues, “until the stars started disappearin’.” 

“Stars disappearing? What does that mean?” The Doctor leans forward in his chair, elbows on his knees as he stares at Rose in rapt fascination.

“That’s the thing. We have no idea.”

The Doctor sits up. “We?”

Rose sighs, knowing she has to tell the Doctor more about the stars and her life in Pete’s universe. She’d been purposefully vague about her own history with the Doctor, knowing his qualms about having too much knowledge about his own personal future, but saving the multiverse is a whole other situation, and he might be able to help. 

“I work for an organization called Torchwood. In my original universe – _this_ universe – Torchwood was the reason I got separated from the Doctor.” Her face hardens as she remembers the ruthless goal of the organization. “But in the other universe, it’s not bad, and I actually work there as an agent. ‘Defender of the Earth,’ you called me. Pete – the parallel version of my Dad – leads Torchwood.”

“I’ve worked for an organization called UNIT before, but I’ve never heard of Torchwood,” the Doctor muses. “Is it new?”

Rose barks out a hollow laugh. “They don’t want to be known. I think you and I were responsible for its creation, somehow.”

The Doctor sits quietly for several moments, and Rose thinks she can actually see the gears shifting in his mind as he thinks and sorts through the information she’s just given him.

“Oh Rose, I have so many questions, but first things first. If you say it’s impossible to cross between parallel universes, then how did you get here? Where do the missing stars fit into this? And why,” he asks with an irritated look at the gun on the floor, “do you carry a gun half your size?

With a sigh of relief that he chose those specific questions, Rose explains, starting with the gun first “Travelin’ between universes looking for you isn’t exactly the safest thing. Torchwood policy.” At his less than pleased nod of understanding, she continues. “We first noticed the stars going out when some recreational astronomers in Pete’s universe reported stars missing from a few of the major constellations. We investigated, sent probes an’ everything, but they’re just gone. No organic residue, no sign they ever existed.” Taking a sip of tea, Rose decides how to tackle his next questions. “After that, we started looking at the Void.”

At this, the concern on the Doctor’s face is undeniable. “The Void?”

“When I first started working for Torchwood, right after I got stuck in the other universe, I convinced Pete to build this cannon – a dimension cannon – because I refused to believe there wasn’t a way back. At first, it was only a concept, but it gave me this sort of pointless hope. Of course, it didn’t work, because the Doctor was right. It _should_ have been impossible. But after the stars started disappearin’, we started using the cannon for our investigation, and the data we picked up from it showed that the walls between universes weren’t as strong as they used to be. Somethin’ was happening to the Void. ‘S like it was dying. We were able to calibrate the cannon, and… after some trial and error, I was able to cross between universes, slipping between the weakened walls without any real consequence.”

The Doctor jumps up and paces around in agitation. “How come my TARDIS didn’t detect any of this?”

Rose shrugs. “Maybe cos it’s not in your timeline, and there are other things more pressing in the present timeline for your TARDIS. I’m not even sure how I found _you_ , Doctor.”

“How many times have you jumped?” the Doctor asks, cutting straight to the point. 

“Fourteen.”

“Fourteen! And you jump like this?” He gestures at her outfit, the dark purple leather jacket, black trousers, and leather boots. When Rose nods, he continues. “Rose, you have no idea what crossing the Void that many times without a time capsule protection will do! It could kill you!”

Rose stands and meets the Doctor face to face, leveling him with a steely glare. “I don’t have a choice, Doctor. It’s not just these two universes in danger. It’s the _entire_ multiverse at risk. Every single universe. Whatever – _who_ ever is mucking with the Void, doing whatever it is they’re doing – they need to be stopped.” She sighs heavily, and sits back on the armrest of her chair. “It’s all connected, somehow: the Void, the planets and stars disappearin’. I _have_ to find you again, the you in my timeline. He’s our only hope.” She leaves out Donna’s involvement, despite the fact that the woman is somehow entwined in all this.

The Doctor stares at Rose. “You’d risk your life just to find me again?”

“If I have to, I’ll do it. It’s all of reality at stake, Doctor. ‘Sides, I’ll be fine. I can’t… It won’t harm me, jumping across the Void.” Rose decides not to further bewilder the Doctor with the facts about her altered biology, a recently discovered mystery she herself is still trying to decipher. Needless to say, he probably wouldn’t react well if she told him her jumps through the Void have made no impact at all on her health, and if anything, only have only accelerated the changes to her DNA. “You’d do the same, and you know it.”

Lost in his thoughts, the Doctor paces silently for several minutes. Rose returns to her seat and worries her fingers in her lap. Finally, he stops and returns to his own chair, sitting down with a loud sigh. 

“There’s something _more_ about you, Rose, isn’t there? I can’t put my finger on it,” he says. “You’re not quite what I think you are, are you?”

Rose flushes but says nothing, not quite sure where he’s going with this particular train of thought. 

“Are you and future me, well– Are we romantically involved? The way you talk about him… It sounds like I have made an exception to my rather strict personal rules.”

A bit thrown by the sudden shift in conversation, Rose snorts in amusement, but nods in confirmation. “Took you long enough, but yeah,” she admits a small smile. “‘S jus’... Canary Wharf happened shortly after. I regret… I wish things had happened sooner, but it took you a long time to accept everything.”

“It appears I am a lucky man in my future,” the Doctor murmurs. “I’m certain I miss you terribly. It’s very difficult for Time Lords, especially this Time Lord,” he points to himself, “to form attachments like he has with you.” There’s a pause before he continues. “Is Canary Wharf where you were separated?”

Rose winces, cursing herself for giving away a specific piece of information. “Yeah.”

“There’s a storm on the horizon, isn’t there?” The Doctor’s voice is calm, deceptively emotionless, as he once again changes the subject. “Something in my near future, my personal timeline. You are very good in your attempts to hide it, but there’s a reason you couldn’t cross between universes. You know something about my future, something huge.”

Rose flinches at the Doctor’s terminology, which throws her back to a night under a night sky filled with fireworks, but remains silent. 

“I can feel it, you see. It’s very different than anything I’ve ever felt before. There’s a darkness there that... “ he trails off and runs his fingers through his hair in what she thinks is frustration. “I’m not supposed to know my personal timeline, but I can’t help but see flashes of what might be. Fragments of timelines. It’s impossible, these things.” 

“Doctor, please,” Rose whispers, desperately hoping he’ll drop the subject. 

“And then you land in my life – a mysterious Rose – and present me with this intriguing mystery. The perfect distraction from the uncertainty of my future,” he continues. 

Rose shifts uncomfortably, hating that she can’t offer any kind of comfort to the Doctor about the war to come, that she can’t even tell him about it. 

“I think it’s time, however, to face this future, no matter how tempting it is to help you. Do you agree, Rose?” The Doctor’s gaze burns into her, and she nods. 

“I think so,” she says. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

After a moment, Rose blurts out, “Is there anything you can do to help me find my Doctor?” It’s not an unreasonable request, she thinks, as it is _him_ she’s searching for. 

The Doctor smiles, the action erasing the darkness from his eyes, and jumps up holding out his hand for Rose. “That, Rose Tyler, I _can_ do. In fact, with a little bit of jiggery pokery, I can ask the TARDIS to lock onto a future version of your Doctor’s TARDIS without compromising the details of that future adventure for me. I’ll just need your help as a biometric footprint, so to speak.”

Rose takes his hand, blinking back the tears of relief that spring to her eyes when he pulls her to her feet. “Really? You can do that?”

“Well, it’s typically frowned upon, but I think we can make an exception, hmm? And besides, when am I one to follow the rules?” The Doctor moves to walk to the console, but Rose tugs him to a stop.

“Doctor, can I just…? Can I hug you? Please? It’s been so long, and–” The breath gets knocked out of her as the Doctor pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her. Her own wrap around his middle, and she sighs happily into the embrace, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck. No matter the form, it’s still the _Doctor_ , and the feeling of being in his arms again after all this time is better than any memory she’d held dear during her time in the parallel universe. She’s surprised with the intensity of the Doctor’s embrace but decides not to question it. Against her chest, she feels the double beats of the Doctor’s hearts, and even though it’s not _her_ Doctor, it still feels like home. 

“Thank you,” she says after several long moments, reluctantly pulling away. She leans up and places a soft kiss on the Doctor’s cheek, smiling when he touches the spot. 

“It’s my pleasure, Rose,” the Doctor replies.

Together, they walk to the console, and the Doctor pulls the monitor over and begins a complicated dance as he flicks levers, pushes buttons, and types commands. At one point, he asks Rose for her hopper and spends several minutes fiddling with the device, before asking Rose to place her hand inside the biometric scanner. Rose leans against the console, fidgeting with the zipper on her jacket with her free hand.

Finally, the Doctor stops and turns to Rose with a grin. “You can take your hand out, now. We’re there.” 

“You mean…” Rose stops, blinking hard. She never thought it’d be so easy. “You’re out there? _My_ Doctor?”

“If my calculations, and the TARDIS’s, are correct, yes. Or he will be soon.”

“Are we on Earth?” Rose asks, curiosity getting the better of her. 

The Doctor shrugs. “That’s something the TARDIS isn’t telling me, but it rather feels like Earth, don’t you think?” 

“I hope so,” Rose says. 

“Then it seems our time together is at an end. I wish I could offer my assistance, but you’ve inspired me to follow my instincts elsewhere. I won’t deny I’m sorely tempted to stay.”

“Doctor, thank you. I never expected to find an earlier version of you to help me,” Rose says as she hugs him once more.

The Doctor returns her hug but sighs into her hair. “Rose, just tell me. Is it bad?”

Rose studies him, her heart breaking as she thinks about the coming war. Her Doctor hadn’t told her much about it, but knowing he lost his entire people and planet tells her it’s more horrifying than she could ever imagine. “Yes.”

His shoulders slump.

“But,” she starts, gazing earnestly into his eyes when he looks up, “don’t give up. One day you’ll meet me, and life won’t be quite so dark anymore.” She’s not sure if such words would give her hope, but it kills her to not say anything. 

“I’ll take your word for it, Rose.” The Doctor smiles briefly, before handing her the dimension hopper. “Just in case this didn’t work, I made a few modifications that’ll help you lock onto the TARDIS.” 

Thanking the Doctor, Rose takes the hopper and tucks it into her jacket pocket. She returns to her gun and adjusts the strap, so it hangs off her back. Returning to the Doctor, she takes a deep breath, kisses him on the on the cheek once more, and walks to the door. Turning, she smiles and waves, before opening the door and stepping outside.

* * *

As the TARDIS dematerializes behind her, Rose stands in an empty street littered with cars and debris, like people had abandoned their cars without second thought and run for the hills. 

The sky is dark, and there are no stars, no moon. It’s only the light of the streetlamps that shows the chaos around her. 

Walking forward, she experiences the overwhelming sensation that something is _not right_. It’s her Earth, her universe, she’s sure of it – feels like something inside her has settled for the first time since being rudely torn from this universe – but there’s that niggle of _instinct_ that suggests something else is horribly wrong. 

Pulling her gun around and holding it at the ready as a preemptive measure, Rose reaches the end of the block, then stares in shock. 

There, maybe 200 meters in front of her, sits the TARDIS, and _her_ Doctor, the one with the really great hair and unstoppable gob, stands in front of it, his head bent toward a familiar red-headed woman. The intensity to his words is visible even from a distance. 

Suddenly, Donna looks up and focuses on Rose. She smiles, murmurs a few indiscernible words at the Doctor, and then he turns around, his face a mask of shock and disbelief. 

A smile stretches across her face, and for a brief moment, they simply stare at each other in wonder. Then, as if pulled to him like a magnet, her feet start moving, and she runs home.


	2. The Doctor (Eight)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's POV.

Sitting in his chair, slowly sipping a cup of tea, the Doctor ponders the murky timelines that grate in his mind like nails running down a chalkboard. He’s no stranger to curious timelines, of course, but those in his immediate future are… Well, he’s not quite certain. Attempting to look fills him with an uneasy sort of dread, as though there’s a certain kind of darkness that permeates Time itself, enshrouds itself around the possibilities to such an extent that he cannot begin to make heads or tails of it. 

His own personal timeline is always cloudy, murky and uncertain, but he’s always been guided by the same inner instinct that has whispered at him to run all his life. Now, however…

There’s a storm coming, one that will change the course of the universe as he knows it. As _anyone_ knows it. Something that will shake the very foundation of _Time_ and his very existence. Everything inside him screams at him to run far, far away. Away from the Time Lords and their dubious politics and ethics, away from responsibility and obligation, away from the darkness…

He’s been parked on this dirty little market asteroid for a few days now, his TARDIS for some reason refusing to move. It’s forced his mind to stew in an onslaught of regret and anxiety, and the more he thinks about the companions he’s lost and the horrors he’s witnessed in this body, the more quickly the darkness threatens to overwhelm him. 

The sound of a key in the front door pulls him from his thoughts, but the Doctor stays in his chair, unwilling, as of yet, to investigate. No one can get in, so there’s nothing to worry about. 

Much to his astonishment and disbelief, however, the door opens and slams shut seconds later. Wheezing laughter from what sounds like a humanoid woman echoes through the console room, but cuts off abruptly seconds later. Still, he remains in his chair, more curious than alarmed, especially when he feels his TARDIS’s unmasked delight in his mind. 

Whoever his intruder is, she’s very well received by his ship. A curiosity, that. 

Footsteps move from the front door to the console, and the Doctor strains to hear the soft words murmured by the stranger, but the TARDIS pulses at the console, drowning them out. He knows the moment she spots him and deems it the right time to make his presence known.

“You know, it’s not polite to break into one’s home,” he announces, keeping his voice soft and level.

“‘M sorry, but Doctor, it’s me. It’s Rose,” the woman says.

Doctor? This woman knows him, but he knows for a fact he’s never heard her voice before. He stands up and turns to face her.

She gasps, and he takes a moment to study her while she does the same. A petite blonde stands before him, in a dark purple leather jacket, black trousers, and heavy boots. A silver key, which he assumes belongs to the TARDIS, hangs from a long chain around her neck. Trim and fit, she holds herself tall, clearly on edge, cautious. But hope shines in her eyes, hope mixed with fear, like she’s terrified he doesn’t know her. 

But he doesn’t.

“Rose? I don’t think I know a Rose,” he replies, confirming the fear in her eyes. 

Her face shutters closed, and he watches in concern. The Doctor takes a step closer, then another, and raises his eyebrows when she blushes. Interesting reaction. But he _is_ rather dashing this go-around, and it’s not the first time he’s made a woman (or man, for that matter) blush. 

The look of longing on her face makes him realize she must know a future version of him, and the myriad of emotions she tries so hard to hide behind a stoic facade suggest that she’s very close to his future self. 

“Or _will_ I know a Rose?” he asks. “I’m assuming you’re from my future, somehow, since you have a key to my ship and seem rather familiar with her.” His TARDIS pulses at the console in confirmation. Her enthusiasm regarding this mysterious Rose is… intriguing. 

Rose rambles off something about protecting the timelines and reapers, and he laughs heartily before grabbing her hand and pulling her to the sitting area. Curiously, a squat little chair sits across from his, so he guides her to it. 

“So, Rose from my future. How–” He stops suddenly as the TARDIS nudges his mind. Ah, good idea. “Before I ask my questions, would you like a spot of tea? You seem a bit unsure, and I find a good cup does wonders to relax the nerves.” 

Rose smiles a glorious tongue-touched smile at him, and the Doctor finds himself momentarily distracted. There’s a slight tremor in his time sense, and that smile – _that smile_ – he knows it intimately. Or will know it. 

He manages to prepare her a suitable cup, and they share a few moments of small talk about tea until the words “unless I find you again” register properly in his mind. 

That must mean… “You lost me?” 

It’s very clear Rose has a story to tell, but he forces himself to be patient, as it’s obvious Rose is apprehensive about sharing. 

“Before I tell you anything,” she says, worrying her bottom lip. “I need to know if me being here will mess up the timelines. ‘S jus’, I know what happens when events are changed, and I _need_ to meet you, Doctor.” 

The Doctor wonders about the tinge of desperation he hears in her plea. “You _have_ to be in my life, and I like to think you need me as well. If meeting you too early is going to change everything, then I think I need to leave now,” Rose continues. 

Oh, well that won’t do. There are simple measures to be taken in order to prevent such a paradox, but Rose doesn’t seem to be aware of them. 

“There, now,” the Doctor says. He prevents her from running away and crouches down next to her. “I can modify my memory so I won’t remember this.” He pauses. “Or, depending upon what you tell me, I can put in a trigger to unlock the memories later, at the right time, if that’ll be better.”

The relief on her face is palpable. “Promise?” 

“Promise.”

When Rose holds out her hand and introduces herself, he takes it. A tingle run downs his spine as a vague echo of the sensation is felt down his timeline. This hand in his, it’s familiar, even though he’s never met her before in his life. It’s not unusual for him to meet people out of order – not uncommon, but not frequent, either – but this is different. 

Tuning in to Rose’s explanation of how they met, the Doctor laughs. “That does seem like how things tend to go in my life,” he confirms. 

Rose launches into more detail about their future travels together, and he’s once again struck with wonder at the apparent connection she has with his TARDIS. It’s highly unusual for his ship to form close bonds with any of his companions, and she seems to be communicating with Rose in a conversation he’s not privy too. This alone makes him undeniably curious about Rose, and when she calls him “her” Doctor, well– It takes all his willpower to keep from interrupting her. It’s becoming clear to him that Rose might mean quite... a lot... to his future self.

The story Rose tells intrigues him, and he has to admit that she’s doing a wonderful job at keeping the specifics out. However, once she tells him that travel between parallel worlds is impossible, he breaks his silence. 

“It’s not impossible,” he starts, but quiets once more when Rose holds a hand up. 

“It is. I can’t tell you how, but it is. You have to trust me.” The expression on Rose’s face makes it clear he’s not to press further on the topic, but it leaves him worried and confused. A sense of dread related to the oppressive darkness he’d experienced earlier creeps into his thoughts, and he wonders if it’s related to what Rose is saying..

“Well, it was impossible,” Rose continues, “until the stars started disappearin’.” 

“Stars disappearing? What does that mean?” The Doctor leans forward in his chair. Rose’s story gets more interesting by the minute with unexpected twists and turns. 

Rose meets his gaze and shrugs. “That’s the thing. We have no idea.”

Cocking his head to the side, the Doctor focuses on one word. “We?” It’s obvious Rose hasn’t been working alone, and he suspects whoever she’s working with – or _for_ – is what has enabled her to cross dimensions. He waits eagerly while Rose takes a sip of tea and gathers her thoughts. 

Finally, with a sigh, Rose begins. “I work for an organization called Torchwood, and we work with aliens and other life forms to create treaties and peace around the galaxy. In my original universe – _this_ universe – Torchwood was the reason I got separated from the Doctor.” The way she clenches her jaw tells the Doctor she has no love for this organization. “But in the other universe, it’s not bad, and I actually work there as an agent. ‘Defender of the Earth,’ you called me. Pete – the parallel version of my Dad – leads Torchwood.”

Torchwood. Searching his memories, the Doctor comes up short. It’s curious he’s never heard of this organization, especially one that deals with aliens. “I’ve worked for an organization called UNIT before, but I’ve never heard of Torchwood. Is it new?”

Rose laughs, the sound harsh and bitter. “They don’t want to be known. I think you and I were responsible for its creation. Somehow.”

Interesting. Perhaps that’s why he hasn’t heard of the organization. Time has a funny way of twisting its way around his different incarnations. The Doctor takes a moment to sift through the information Rose has given him. She’d stayed with him through a regeneration, and they’d inadvertently created the organization responsible for separating them. Until now, it’d been impossible for them to cross between universes, and then there are the missing stars to think about. Sorting through the facts, he tries to focus on the issue at hand, despite his burning curiosity about other… things.

He asks Rose how she came to be back in this universe, focusing on travel between the dimensions and the missing stars. Rose launches into an explanation, and he follows along with mild interest until she mentions the Void. 

Dread seeps through his body. “The Void?”

The Doctor listens with rapt attention as she details the development of the dimension cannon and how it started working once the stars began disappearing. With each added detail, he grows more agitated. _Any_ activity to the Void, good or bad, is cause for alarm, and crossing between universes, while not difficult for him with the aid of other Time Lords, should not be so easily achieved by a species with less technological advances.

He jumps up and paces around the sitting area, unable to sit still. “How come my TARDIS didn’t detect any of this?” 

“Maybe cos it’s not in your timeline, and there are other things more pressing in the present timeline for your TARDIS. I’m not even sure how I found _you_ , Doctor.” 

Barely processing Rose’s words, the Doctor continues asking questions. “How many times have you jumped?”

At Rose’s answer, he blanches. “Fourteen! And you jump like this?” Her outfit, while sturdy and dependable, is sorely lacking protective materials. “Rose, you have no idea what crossing the Void that many times without a time capsule protection will do! It could kill you!” 

In his confusion and anger, he’d lashed out, and he’s not surprised when Rose meets him face to face. She bristles at him in irritation. “I don’t have a choice, Doctor!”

He listens as Rose herself paces between their chairs, heatedly discussing the fact that the entire multiverse is at risk. As the fight seems to leave her, she shuffles to the arm of her chair and sits down. “It’s all connected, somehow: the Void, the planets and stars disappearin’. I _have_ to find you again, the you in my timeline. He’s our only hope.” 

This woman. He stares at Rose in disbelief. “You’d risk your life just to find me again?” 

“If I have to, I’ll do it. It’s all of reality at stake, Doctor. ‘Sides, I’ll be fine. There’s no risk with me jumping across the Void.” She levels him with a glare. “You’d do the same, and you know it.”

The Doctor continues pacing for several minutes. In addition to the alarming news about the Void and missing stars, there’s a little niggle in the back of his mind. Something about Rose and her casual lack of regard for her safety and health. Something that’s tickled his time sense from the moment she walked inside his ship but that he had simply shrugged off as not important. But it _is_ , he realizes, and that something has to do with Rose’s very existence. It distracts him enough to redirect the course of their conversation, and it’s with these thoughts he sits back down in his chair with a sigh. 

“There’s something _more_ about you, Rose, isn’t there? I can’t put my finger on it,” he says. “You’re not quite what I think you are, are you?”

Watching Rose carefully, he notes the way she stiffens at his words, then flushes slightly, confirming his musings. She avoids answering his question. 

He takes a chance and asks another question. “Are you and future me, well– Are we romantically involved? The way you talk about him… It sounds like I have made an exception to my rather strict personal rules.”

Rose looks up in surprise and snorts, confirming his speculation with a nod. “Took you long enough, but yeah. ‘S jus’... Canary Wharf happened shortly after. I regret… I wish things had happened sooner, but it took you a long time to accept everything.”

Despite not knowing anything more about Rose than the things she’s only just shared with him, this surprising revelation fills the Doctor with a strange sort of hope. Knowing Rose Tyler is part of his future might be enough to help him face the looming darkness.

“It appears I am a lucky man in my future,” the Doctor murmurs, experiencing a sudden bout of jealousy for his future self. “I’m certain I miss you terribly. It’s very difficult for Time Lords, especially _this_ Time Lord, to form attachments like he has with you.” He realizes Rose had also revealed one other important piece of information and mulls it over before continuing. “Is Canary Wharf where you were separated?”

At Rose’s affirmative answer, he falls into his thoughts once more. The darkness, which has up until this moment lain dormant since Rose’s arrival, begins to fill his hearts with heaviness once more. Knowing he’s lost his focus on the situation, he nevertheless voices his sense of foreboding of his immediate future.

“There’s a storm on the horizon, isn’t there?” He tries to keep any form of emotion out of his voice. “Something in my near future. You are very good in your attempts to hide it, but there’s a reason you can’t cross between universes. You know something about my future, something huge.”

He interprets Rose’s uneasy silence as a yes and grudgingly admires her for not elaborating further on his future. Still, he continues, hinting of the terrible things he sees in the fragments of timelines that flit unbidden across his mind. Rose looks increasingly distraught, even begs for him to stop, but for some unknown reason, he presses on, determined to acknowledge both the path he needs to take back home to Gallifrey and the distraction Rose offers. 

Oh, he can sense it now, feels an undeniable pull toward this mysterious woman. In such a short time, she’s captivated him… and his hearts. He really is jealous of his future selves. 

It’s clear his persistent questioning makes Rose uncomfortable, and the last thing he wants is for her to run away. Finally, he stills the conflict waging war in his mind and chooses a path. 

“I think it’s time, however, to face this future, no matter how tempting it is to help you. Do you agree, Rose?” A flash of disappointment stabs his hearts when she nods in agreement, but he knows she’s right.

“I think so,” she says. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

The Doctor opens his mouth to say something, but Rose interjects first. “Is there anything you can do to help me find my Doctor?” 

The Doctor smiles, and he eagerly jumps at the chance to help this woman return to his future self. “That, Rose Tyler, I _can_ do. In fact, with a little bit of jiggery pokery, I can ask the TARDIS to lock onto a future version of your Doctor’s TARDIS without compromising the details of that future adventure for me. I’ll just need your help as a biometric footprint, so to speak.”

Holding out his hand, he waggles his fingers, sighing happily when Rose takes his hand. “Really? You can do that?”

“Well, it’s typically frowned upon, but I think we can make an exception, hmm? And besides, when am I one to follow the rules?” He’s never one to follow the rules, which despite his acceptance to face his future, he relishes the opportunity to ignore just a little longer. 

Rose surprises him then, asking to hug him, and his arms are around her before she’s even finished asking her question. She snuggles into him, and he clings to her, knowing he should feel bewildered by the intensity of their embrace, but… he isn’t. 

“Thank you,” she says after exactly one minute and twenty-seven seconds. Pushing herself up on her toes, she kisses his cheek, and his hand touches the spot, his skin tingling where her lips had just brushed.. 

“It’s my pleasure, Rose,” the Doctor replies, giving her a soft smile.

He turns around and walks to the console, pulling out the monitor and beginning the process of finding his future self. It’s complicated, searching his own timeline, but with the help of the TARDIS, something he thinks she’s very willing to assist with, it shouldn’t be any trouble. After several minutes, he asks Rose for her hopper, and marvels at the rudimentary (but effective) technology found within it. Finally, he places Rose’s hand in the biometric scanner, and he finishes the calculations.

When the coordinates are put into the console and he flips the lever, he turns to Rose with a grin. “You can take your hand out, now. We’re there.” 

“You mean…” Rose stops, blinking hard, and he wonders if she’s about to cry. “You’re out there? _My_ Doctor?”

“If my calculations and the TARDIS’s, are correct, yes. Or he will be soon.”

“Are we on Earth?” Rose asks. 

The Doctor shrugs, deciding to let Rose find out for herself. “That’s something the TARDIS isn’t telling me, but it rather feels like Earth, don’t you think?” 

“I hope so,” Rose says. 

“Then it seems our time together is at an end. I wish I could offer my assistance, but you’ve inspired me to follow my instincts elsewhere. I won’t deny I’m sorely tempted to stay.” He says, sighing a bit at the end, as he’s rather reluctant to leave this beautiful woman behind. 

“Doctor, thank you. I never expected to find an earlier version of you to help me.” Rose hugs him fiercely, and he returns it with a sigh.

“Rose, just tell me. Is it bad?”

For several long moments she studies him, her hazel eyes soft and sympathetic. “Yes,” she answers simply.

His shoulders slump, and he feels the tendrils of darkness creeping into his mind once more

She tries to give him some last words of comfort, but it does little to lighten the heaviness on his hearts. Remembering the dimension hopper on the console, he grabs it and hands it to her, telling her about the modifications he’d made to it to make it easier to find her Doctor. 

And then, after tucking dimension hopper away and retrieving her gun, she kisses him sweetly on the cheek and walks out of his life. 

For now.

* * *

As soon as the door closes behind Rose, the Doctor flips the switch on the console to send the TARDIS into the Vortex, then steps away from the console. He paces around the room, deep in thought. 

A storm is coming, that’s a given. The darkness and and tumult he senses within the timelines offer such certainty, a truth and inevitability of this fixed event in the web of Time. He doesn’t yet understand yet what it is, but he soon will. He knows it.

But before he could acknowledge and take action to face this future, Rose had barged her way into his life, temporarily banishing the darkness from his mind. Her smile had captivated him, the sincerity in her words and – dare he think it – _love_ for his future self, proving too tempting a curiosity to ignore. 

A part of him desperately wants to know that Rose found future him, but a deeper part of him knows it’s not his story. He has to place his trust in the TARDIS and the future. With a hand on the console, he whispers a hope that his future might be brighter than he’d ever imagined. Then, heart heavy, he puts in the coordinates for Gallifrey and sends his ship in motion. 

Despite knowing he needs to lock up his memories from his time with Rose, the Doctor experiences a moment’s hesitation. Perhaps he can hold on to them for a while longer. It’s a dangerous idea, yes, but the TARDIS, usually highly opinionated on such matters, remains suspiciously quiet. 

When the TARDIS shudders to a stop – and wasn’t that landing just a bit bumpy? – the Doctor takes a deep breath and rests both hands on the console, sparing just a moment to commune with his ship. She sends a wave of comfort at him, for which is is thankful, and then he shrugs his shoulders and walks toward the door, thinking of Rose and his future. 

Flinging the door open, he expects to step out into his rarely used quarters on Arcadia, but instead he looks out onto a street littered with broken cars and other debris. 

A future TARDIS – his, he can feel her – sits close by, and a red haired woman gapes at him in surprise. Immediately in front of him, Rose and a man – his future self, he hopes – are locked in an embrace, but stare at him in shock, as if they’d been interrupted mid… something.

“Oh dear,” he says.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at goingtothetardis.tumblr.com!!


End file.
